“Psychologist Robert Larzelere notes a problem with human punishment studies, which often find that spanked children are at increased risk for aggression, depression, and low self-esteem.  Well, yes, says Larzelere, just as people who have received radiation treatments are more likely to die of cancer, and people who have undergone psychotherapy are more likely to suffer depression-because they had preexisting problems that triggered the treatments.  If one adjust for preexisting cancer or depression-or antisocial behavior- then radiation, psychotherapy, or an occasional single swat or two of misbehaving 2-6 year olds looks more effective.

“Punished behavior is not forgotten; it is suppressed.  This temporary suppression may (negatively) reinforce the parents’ punishing behavior.  The child swears, the parent swats, the parent hears no more swearing from the child, and the parent feels the punishment was successful in stopping the behavior.  But was it?  If the punishment is avoidable, the punished behavior may reappear in safe settings [not at home in front of parents] …the child will swear elsewhere.

“Punishment may also increase aggressiveness by demonstrating that aggression is a way to cope with problems…Punishment can create fear; the person receiving the punishment may associate the fear not only with the undesirable behavior but also with the person who administers it or with the situation in which it occurs…”

From Exploring Psychology: 5th Edition in Modules, David G. Myers

Thank God for this Study that revealed in the late 1990’s the negative effects of spanking as a form of discipline.  If you’ve raised children prior to this study, don’t beat yourself up… you did the best that you knew how.   But for those of us that are raising children after this study was published we have a higher standard to discipline by.

As the saying goes, “To whom much is given, much is required.”  We’ve been given this knowledge and now we must choose what to do with it.

I get so excited when I get to work with midwives because of what they all bring to the laboring room- a confidence in natural and normal birth that regards interventions necessary ONLY in a small % of women.  In the past, I’ve had a hard time trying to convince very intelligent and open-minded women that midwives are just as capable (if not more capable) of delivering a healthy baby while protecting mom as well.

Here’s a little list that I’ve  created of WHY a midwife is a great choice for a normal birth:

-If she is your midwife she will be on-call for your birth… meaning… at 3 a.m. you call and she will meet you at your birth place.

-Unlike obgyns, midwives spend lots of time with you in your birth.  In my experience once you’re about 6 cm dilated… they don’t leave you (unless they absolutely have to go to another birth).

-They are skilled in normal birth and not surgery.  They will use tools such as massage, baths, counter-pressure,  positioning and patiences to get the baby out. They will not and in fact CANNOT use forceps for birth.  If you want a forceps delivery, you’ll have to call the dr. on-call while you are in labor.  A midwife will NOT do it.

-In my 2+ years of doula work, I’ve yet to see a midwife give an episiotomy!

-Midwives often do 2 week post-partum check-ups for emotional support.  Most ObGyns will wait until 6 weeks to check up on you post-partum.

-They are very skilled in emergency situations.  I have seen midwives deliver babies with ‘dropping heart tones,’ shoulder dystocia, 10 lbs 4 oz babies, babies in water, babies on land, babies delivered in squatting position/hands and knees, babies ‘overdue’ without any problem, babies gently delivered without any tissue tearing.  They have all the man-made instruments available  in case of an emergency vaginal birth but they do NOT rely heavily upon them.  They rely on mom’s body and their own ability.

-Midwives DO NOT do cesareans.  Imagine delivering with someone that believes cesarean is not an option.  In order to do it, they must hand their patient over to the on-call ObGyn.  This means, they are usually not eager or quick to the decision of cesarean. They care enough about their own patients to suggest one if necessary.

-They are women!!!!! They have at least experienced menstration and at most delivered several children themselves.  They know you, how your made and can truly empathize with you!

I love midwives and recommend them 100% of the time for birth.  Even if you have a dr. I recommend visiting a midwife one time during your pregnancy just to make sure that you’ve ruled one out as an option.  If you need a list of good ones… give me a holler: lauren@birthisfun.com

Here’s some good sites for info on midwives and normal birth:

American Pregnancy Association: What is a midwife and what do they do?

Lamaze International: No Routine Interventions

American College of Nurse Midwifery Info

Frontier Midwifery School

I sat down in my car after I concluded my “Birth is Fun weekend Intensive class” at Baby Moon and I was ready to head home to my babies.  I put the key in the ignition and it wouldn’t budge… not a bit.  I took it out, turned it around and tried it again… nothing.  I pulled it out slightly and jiggled, jiggled, jiggled… and, ah, there it was the gentle purr of my luxurious 2001 chevy malibu!

Like birth, you cannot force a key into a lock… you could bend the key, distort the lock or get it stuck.  It is much easier to take a deep breath and move… move… move… move.  Think ‘move that baby down, like a key in a lock…’ easy, slowly, with intention and without intervention… naturally.

It seems that with each passing year, my husband and I get even more and more ‘granola-y’.  The more that we read where food comes from and how it is made, the more we hunger for homemade traditional food – REAL food. Last weekend we visited Charleston, SC and the food there was seriously amazing.  I had no idea it was a place packed with such wonderful restaurants with such incredible chefs.  We dashed about the city taking refuge from the heat and humidity in restaurants, cafes, and gourmet delis.  Our favorite meal was duck confit paninis and a few sushi rolls fromCaviar and Bananas.

Almost every eatery proclaimed that they had housemade mozarella and I tried it.  DELICIOUS!  So, now that I’m home I’m planning to make me some as soon as my shipment of rennet gets in.  For now, I’m moving on to butter and yogurt.

Here’s how I made butter today:

Pick your cream

Pour into little jars and let sit until about 55-60 degrees F.

I used this awesome thermometer from pampered chef. Order here from my buddy Robin.

Once the right temperature, shake the life out of that jar.First you’ll hear, ’slosh, slosh, slosh’  then ‘whomp, whomp, whomp’ as the beating thickens the cream.  Then ‘thump, thump, thump.’ It will be ready when you hear ‘thump, slosh, thump, slosh’and the creamy consistency breakes up and there is clumps and liquid milk again. Pour the milk with butter into a colander and the milk drains out.

The butter should look like this:

SAVE THE MILK that runs off… it’s buttermilk and yummy to drink or cook with

After the water runs off the butter clear, the milk should be out of the butter and you can knead it to double check. Then put it into forms.  I used valentines day cookie cutters in the spirit of reusing and not purchasing unnecessary goods.

YUMMY! This is the real deal… now on to make some homemade bread from this butter and to have with this butter.  Stay tuned for next week’s post on making homemade mozarella!

Vacation was WAY too short! I want to go back and spend hours upon hours laughing, dreaming and resting!  But for now… I’ll take the rest that I got and will get back to work! So come on mamas… have your babies. I’m a very ready doula!

Curbly.com for design and makeover ideas… my favorite:

I prayed through my own: Dear God, give me the strength for this next wave.  Give me a focus for my birth.

I prayed through my closest friends’ births: Help my friend to find her voice, tell her health care provider what she wants and how she will have this baby.  Guide the hands of those helping her bring her baby into world. Give her strength.

General prayers of protection and comfort.

But the last birth that I attended I prayed  a lot.  It was a long labor, probably the longest I’ve every assisted in.  I prayed for strength and  creativity in ways to comfort the mom.  But I also prayed: Dear God, please let the Dr., who checks her progress, find that she is 4 cm dilated.  Please let her be ready to push.  Please give her energy to push how she wants.  Please sensitize everyone in the room to mom’s wishes. Please guide the Dr.’s hands to gently bring this baby into our world.

I prayed and it was an amazing birth.  All birth are amazing in that it is the most beautiful and difficult process ever.  I always cry and feel so blessed that a mom would open her heart to me as her doula and invite me to partake in such an amazing life event.  When they place baby on mom’s chest, I burst from excitement and relief for mom, baby and even myself.  The first cry – a deep throaty scream that is pushed from the baby’s tiny working lungs brings me pure joy, and I cry. I am amazed by moms and what they are capable of.  Every mom, no matter how petite, nervous, strong, shy, or demanding has the incredible life-bringing power within her and it gives me chills when she succeeds in bringing for her own baby to this world.

This particular couple, strangers before our first doula meeting, wove themselves quickly into my heart.  I was completely invested in their birth plan and their well being.  The 25 some-odd hours that we shared in the hospital before active labor gave us ample time to share our stories with each other.  It gave me time to understand some of the unique nuances that make their relationship tick.  It was great research for knowing how to help mom cope once she really needed literal, non-stop, hands-on support.

It was incredible.  And I invited my God there.  We shared faiths and so, He was welcome there in our presence and thus obviously guarded the lives within those walls.

I long for more opportunities to share life, faith and joy with more families.

I just met yesterday with one of my former clients who is raising money for a wonderful non-profit here in town, The Nest.  The way that she is raising money is by selling Pomegranate linens at very reasonable prices.  All of the money goes directly to The Nest.  She is asking a very low price: $1 for napkins, $1 for placemats, $15 for tablecloths (though, if you wish to donate more than she is asking, it is much appreciated).

Usually Pomegranate napkins run $24 for 4 napkins, $28 for 4 placemats and $30-50 for tablecloths.  The charity price is a STEAL and you will be contributing to a great organization that works to support women, children and families by education, counseling and support.

I LOVE finding out about what my friends are doing to make their world a better place and to lend a hand to their neighbor!  If you’re interested in purchasing some fantastic linens to support The Nest, please email me at lauren@birthisfun.com and I’ll send you more info!

It is against all things organic, natural, healthy and good.  IT is rice krispie treats!!!!!   And I guess since the box says, ‘9 Vitamins + Iron’  I could kinda convince myself it wasn’t ALL bad!

Oh how gooey marshmellows melt with butter to create a delicate bath for the krispy chunks of high fructose syrup rice… ahhhhh.

The bright packaging and mooshiness was too much for me and my begging 3 year old, E, to resist today… so we are… now… enjoqaiayging… stickeeeyeisa, marshwemeloowlllwoy gooooo;poi:)ness!

Happy 4th of JULY!!!