Comments on: Psychology of Spanking http://www.birthisfun.com/blog/2010/07/psychology-of-spanking/ Childbirth education and doula services in Lexington, Kentucky Wed, 25 Jan 2012 19:27:35 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Lauren http://www.birthisfun.com/blog/2010/07/psychology-of-spanking/comment-page-1/#comment-874 Lauren Sat, 31 Jul 2010 03:05:23 +0000 http://www.birthisfun.com/blog/?p=460#comment-874 I see what you're saying, Alicia, but what this psychologist is describing is that punishment and hitting only prevents bad behavior in the future in front of the parent that hits. Not in all aspects of life. It teaches a child to avoid said action in front of punishing parent... it only hides the action and doesn't stop it. I want to discourage wrong behavior by teaching good choices, not a threatening environment that 'so and so behavior' will result in 'so in so hitting or punishment'. We can argue the use of the word 'punishment' but the idea of nipping a bad behavior in the bud is a temporary fix... the idea is to shape the child not gain momentary satisfaction on the part of the discipliner. Vera, I understand your desire to mimic God's wisdom in your parenting. I appreciate that fully. I simply cannot find it in the Bible where an older person hitting a child is loving discipline. Discipline is definitely individualized to the child and parent but( as in many things in our society) limits are established when research or history shows that an old practice is more harmful than helpful. I feel like recent studies are showing this to be so... spanking is an old fad that is hanging around only because it takes a while to spread the news that it is ineffective... thus the blogs!!! Just trying to spread the 'good news' that we don't have to spank and harshly punish in order to love!! Some parents truly believe that they must spank because it is how they were raised or they must spank but it translates a spiritual wisdom to children. But recent evidence shows that it confuses children and is more harmful than helpful. Hitting is out... as of studies such as this published in the 1990's... just in time for me to raise my own kids with this knowledge. I see what you’re saying, Alicia, but what this psychologist is describing is that punishment and hitting only prevents bad behavior in the future in front of the parent that hits. Not in all aspects of life. It teaches a child to avoid said action in front of punishing parent… it only hides the action and doesn’t stop it.

I want to discourage wrong behavior by teaching good choices, not a threatening environment that ’so and so behavior’ will result in ’so in so hitting or punishment’.

We can argue the use of the word ‘punishment’ but the idea of nipping a bad behavior in the bud is a temporary fix… the idea is to shape the child not gain momentary satisfaction on the part of the discipliner.

Vera, I understand your desire to mimic God’s wisdom in your parenting. I appreciate that fully. I simply cannot find it in the Bible where an older person hitting a child is loving discipline.

Discipline is definitely individualized to the child and parent but( as in many things in our society) limits are established when research or history shows that an old practice is more harmful than helpful. I feel like recent studies are showing this to be so… spanking is an old fad that is hanging around only because it takes a while to spread the news that it is ineffective… thus the blogs!!! Just trying to spread the ‘good news’ that we don’t have to spank and harshly punish in order to love!!

Some parents truly believe that they must spank because it is how they were raised or they must spank but it translates a spiritual wisdom to children. But recent evidence shows that it confuses children and is more harmful than helpful. Hitting is out… as of studies such as this published in the 1990’s… just in time for me to raise my own kids with this knowledge.

]]> By: Vera http://www.birthisfun.com/blog/2010/07/psychology-of-spanking/comment-page-1/#comment-872 Vera Sat, 31 Jul 2010 01:45:38 +0000 http://www.birthisfun.com/blog/?p=460#comment-872 Well, yeah, if your child does something wrong, and the only immediate response you can offer is physical punishment, like slapping or spanking a child, then i agree with the psychologist, as it happens unfortunately in families with physically abused children. However, I believe this is just an excerpt from the whole book, and provides general information on punishment. We have already discussed all the aspects of it in the previous post. I echo Alicia's post; it is very individual, and is not one-size-fits-all solution. Let's not mix in together ignorance and abuse with proper discipline, which requires a lot of God's wisdom and humbleness in parenting. Well, yeah, if your child does something wrong, and the only immediate response you can offer is physical punishment, like slapping or spanking a child, then i agree with the psychologist, as it happens unfortunately in families with physically abused children. However, I believe this is just an excerpt from the whole book, and provides general information on punishment. We have already discussed all the aspects of it in the previous post. I echo Alicia’s post; it is very individual, and is not one-size-fits-all solution. Let’s not mix in together ignorance and abuse with proper discipline, which requires a lot of God’s wisdom and humbleness in parenting.

]]> By: Alicia Broaddus http://www.birthisfun.com/blog/2010/07/psychology-of-spanking/comment-page-1/#comment-866 Alicia Broaddus Wed, 28 Jul 2010 15:02:16 +0000 http://www.birthisfun.com/blog/?p=460#comment-866 Of course punished behavior is supressed - that's the goal! We want to prevent that behavior in the future. We wouldn't want one to forget a lesson that should be learned. Some lessons are vital to ones safety and the safety of others. Now, how we go about "punishing" (and I prefer to use the word "disciplining") is a matter that is influenced by any number of factors. No one "punishment" fits all behaviors. If one spanks it should be done sparingly. Any "punishment" that is overused, or misued can certainly become ineffective. And, any "punishment" that is administered improperly or out of anger (whether it be spanking or not) can be harmful. There are any number of ways to discipline poor behavior as a deterrant to it being continued. Of course, the final decision as to whether the behavior actually is continued is up to the individual (demonstrating the behavior). We cannot completely eliminate undesired behavior through punishment...only establish that there are consequences to all behaviors so that individuals (even children) may choose correct behavior. Of course punished behavior is supressed – that’s the goal! We want to prevent that behavior in the future. We wouldn’t want one to forget a lesson that should be learned. Some lessons are vital to ones safety and the safety of others. Now, how we go about “punishing” (and I prefer to use the word “disciplining”) is a matter that is influenced by any number of factors. No one “punishment” fits all behaviors. If one spanks it should be done sparingly. Any “punishment” that is overused, or misued can certainly become ineffective. And, any “punishment” that is administered improperly or out of anger (whether it be spanking or not) can be harmful. There are any number of ways to discipline poor behavior as a deterrant to it being continued. Of course, the final decision as to whether the behavior actually is continued is up to the individual (demonstrating the behavior). We cannot completely eliminate undesired behavior through punishment…only establish that there are consequences to all behaviors so that individuals (even children) may choose correct behavior.

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