Recently I’ve been remembering a birth that I attended two years ago this May.  After a couple days of labor and lots of emotional highs and lows, a beautiful baby girl was born.  One of the things that helped the laboring mom and the laboring attendants to relax and focus during much of the labor was a great, inspirational playlist that the expecting parents put together.  I still remember the baby being born as Derek Webb’s ‘Wedding Dress’ played quietly in the background.  It was truly a music video moment and one that I will always remember.

I encourage women to find something that they identify with relaxation and make sure that it is a part of their labor days.  Creating your own environment and restful atmosphere is part of what makes birth so much fun.  Below I’ve listed some of my own labor play list that I grooved to during the labor of my second baby, last March.

Music to Labor By:

Bela Fleck – Perpetual Motion (Classical music on a banjo)

David Gray – Slow Motion, Freedom, Easy Way to Cry

Derek Webb – Beloved

Fiona Apple – Parting Gift

Gavin Degraw – Just Friends

Elton John – Mellow, Rocket Man

Jason Mraz – Life is Beautiful

John  Coltrane – I’m Old Fashion, Your Lady

John Mayer – Gravity, Stop this Train, Vultures

Norah Jones – Feeling the Same Way, Nightingale

Over the Rhine – Born, I’m on a roll, Let’s Spend the day in bed

Pink Martini – Hang on Little Tomato, Sympathique

I saw this on BBC yesterday and thought it was very interesting!

Hope you enjoy the info.

My husband and I have often talked about spanking as a form of discipline.  This is one topic that parents get all flustered about as they argue their personal view and try to unveil the most loving, effective and ethical way to discipline.

I’m not much of an ‘all or nothing’ kinda gal in my parenting advice, but when talking with husband about spanking he said something that has really made me think.

He asked, “Would it make a difference if I hit you… just once? ” Well, yeah, I wouldn’t stand for it, even once… one little hit and he’s outta here.  In my opinion, hitting people you love is wrong and once is one time too many.  With hitting… it is all or nothing.

What if we, as a society, still did “lashes” for small offenses?  Say, someone lies to you and you respond, “That is unacceptable behavior, now turn around while I hit you for it.”  Or you’re in Kroger and the cashier responds with a snide comment or “talks back to you” then you reach up and punch them in the bum?  “No” you say, that is barbaric.  I’ll agree – the quick, passionate barbaric punch may be a bit over the top.

But if it is a calculated, quick, passionate barbaric hit, lash or spank is it any better?  Spanking shouldn’t be out of anger, right?  But if someone was calculating and calm when they hit you, wouldn’t it be every eerier and more barbaric?  Would it matter if someone was calm when they hit you as opposed to angry?  Would it matter if it happened as a rule, or happened only once?  How would it affect your relationship with that person?

Is there a difference in spanking children as a rule and occasionally spanking  because nothing else seemed to work?  If you’re against spanking in general, does it makes a difference if you slip once or twice and spank?  Hmmm… some very meaty food for thought.

Btw, said husband doesn’t hit, at all.  I’m proud to say that his love for me and his children abounds and builds confidence without having to prove his strength.

What do you think about occasional spanking vs. spanking as a rule?

I am a firm believer that what you put into your body affects all elements of your health, well being and mood.  Each year, I seem to tweak my own diet a bit more so that I am eating the best possible way for me.  Every additional piece of nutritional education brings me closer to the earth and closer to the basics of good eating.  This practice naturally extends to all members of my family.

That being said, I have tried many different baby foods with each of my young ones and have recently stumbled upon an awesome new site and distributor of Sprout Organic Baby Food, www.SproutBaby.com.  In an effort to circulate education on baby and earth friendly food and products, I have familiarized myself with this site and tried the yummy Sprout Baby food that they sell, and have had friends try the food as well.  I am here with the full report.

This food is truly gourmet and all natural and also packaged and produced in environmentally friendly ways.  The best part?  It’s totally affordable.

Here is some of the feedback that I have received from former students that have tried this food:

Q: What was your baby’s initial response to the food?

A: Ate it well!!

Q: What do you normally feed your baby and what is the difference between Sprout and your normal baby food?

A: Usually buy generic brand.  It differed because Sprout seems to have no water added.

Q: What did you find unique about the marketing and website, www.SproutBaby.com?

A: Very interesting site!

Great blog.

Q: What is a defining characteristic about Sprout Baby food?

A: It is a bit thicker than other baby foods.

The labels state it is for babies over 6 months, which is why it might be thicker.

Q:  What did you find interesting about the packaging?

A: They are working hard to create a completely recyclable product, which I value.

The pouch makes it a bit more difficult to squeeze all the food out.

No carrying glass in the diaper bag… more difficult to break packaging on accident!

If you’re like me and you think, “Why shouldn’t my baby eat gourmet food that is good, nutrtious and responsible?” then you will absolutely love Sprout Baby Food.  I have just recently seen it at Whole Foods in Lexington, KY among other grocery stores nationwide. Or you can order online at www.SproutBaby.com among 700+ other great baby and earth friendly products.

**********CHECK OUT THE SITE and Respond to this post what you find most interesting about www.SproutBaby.com (name a product that you see that you like) and you will be entered in a drawing for a package of several samples of Sprout Baby Organic Foods. Post before February, as I will announce the winner February 1, 2010 ******************

Next week I begin classes in pursuit of a nursing degree.  I have to thank my oldest daughter for this opportunity and the direction that she gave me.  She may never know her influence on me and never understand the power that she had as an 8lb 14oz newborn.  But it is because of her, that I found my direction in life.

I got pregnant with my oldest, Miss E, only 2 months after I married my husband.  He was still working on his green card and work permit and was, of course, not working.  I was finishing my bachelor’s degree and working at the library on campus, which did not provide sufficient income for the two of us, let alone a newborn.  The day after I found out I was pregnant  I had an interview for a teaching job that I would continue after graduation.  I had the strangest feeling walking into that interview.  I wanted the job but my whole world was turned upside down and I was certain that I wouldn’t be able to commit to it.  What were we to do?  Who was I to be?  This pregnancy was unexpected.  We were delighted but quite scared.

The pregnancy was great and I was able to work while pregnant, but wasn’t sure what I should make as my ‘career’ in life.  It wasn’t until after I had Miss E that I began the long journey of discovery to unveil my purpose in the world.  Sure, I was made to be her mama, and that I would do the best I knew how… but I felt that there was something else that I was made to do to impact others.  So I began my certification to become a birth doula and shortly thereafter, a childbirth educator.

The  more energy that I poured into health related work, and specifically working with women, the more that I realized that I had to pursue a degree in nursing.  I realize that some women are led to the birthing world or health related world and never want to pursue a nursing degree or other medical degree – but for me it is right.

My surprise baby was a gift from the Creator and a wake-up call to my next decade of life.  I love surprise babies -sometimes, greeted with a host of adoration; sometimes amongst judgment or question.  We are only finite people and cannot understand what lies beyond that faint positive sign on our pregnancy test stick.  But one thing is for sure, no baby is a mistake… each one is a possibility for greatness and potential for change.

You listen to your body, trust your body, you feel every movement that baby makes. You anticipate the birth, idealize the day, plan your hopes out and put them into writing.  You educate, do yoga, eat right and rest.  So when you hear the word ‘breech’ all that you want to do is ‘pause’ the pregnancy until you can fix the baby’s position. You may second guess yourself and wonder how you missed such a detail.  But it is NOT your fault, it’s a delicate process of nature.

‘Breech’ can be one scary word for moms that are interested in delivering their babies vaginally.  But, it doesn’t have to be scary.  I have recently come across two clients/friends that have had breech babies in their pregnancies.  Neither of them found out that their baby was breech until around 37 weeks gestation, at which point, I was notified and began collaborating with the families to help turn baby.   There are several breech positions, all mean that the baby’s head is not in the pelvis.  It’s is easier in most circumstances to deliver a baby’s head before delivering its bum or feet.  The head is the largest part of the body and ‘paves the way’ for the rest of the body to be born.  Once the head is born, the rest of the body will follow.

Babies turn and flip around in the uterus from early on in pregnancy. Of course, early on there is lots of room.  As the baby grows and the baby and your body are preparing for birth, baby will flip and be head down in the pelvis.  Around 30/31 weeks some babies flip to head down position and never turn back.  Sometimes, babies flip and flop until 36 weeks and then stay down.  Other times, babies will flip until their delivery day and sometimes babies won’t turn at all.

You can prepare for an optimal positioning (head down) by finding out early on what your baby’s tends to do.  Even if a baby might rotate to breech after 31 weeks gestation, you and your health care provider should be in conversation about the baby’s position from about 30 (some would say from 28 weeks) weeks on.   Your health care provider should be interested in providing this information to you, so you can work with your baby and body in the case that the baby tends to the breech position.

There are things that you can do to encourage movement to head down position.

Pelvic rocks (get in the hands and knees position on the floor and rock your pelvis) rocks baby out of the pelvis, creating more room for baby’s movement.  Baby wants to get into the right position for its birth, we need to allow this to happen by proper postures and positioning in our pregnancies.

Yoga: There are some yoga postures that encourage movement as well.  But if you’re unsure of your baby’s position, do not do squats which will encourage baby to ‘lock’ down into the pelvis.  When your baby is head down, squat incessantly to make sure baby won’t flip.

Chiropractor: There are certain chiropractors that will work on a pregnant ladies alignment to encourage baby to move.  If there are some skeletal issues that prohibit baby’s movement, a chiropractor can loosen up joints and help create space in the body.

Massage: Get a ‘Turn baby turn’ massage.  Massage therapists are educated in working with tissue and alignment to encourage proper head down positioning.  Also, they have a great success rate in encouraging breech baby to turn.

Moxabustion and acupuncture: Eastern medicine has added much to our western model of care by introducing incense burning and manipulating pressure points. A great resource for this in Lexington is Artemesia.

There are other great home ‘remedies’ such as lying on an inclined ironing board with your head down, using a flashlight to lure a head down baby to the pelvis, using music to encourage turning as well as the good old pelvic rocks.  If your baby is not ‘head down’ by 30 weeks, try to encourage head down positioning by pelvic rocks and other non invasive methods.  If the time comes to be proactive in turning a breech baby, try one of the above mentioned methods before the more invasive external version that is down in the hospital.   Some health care providers will deliver a breech baby vaginally – if this is your desire.

A great internet resource for baby position info is SpinningBabies.com

Every year, when it comes time to cut down our fresh, beautiful Christmas tree, I am so conflicted.  I LOVE the feeling of nostalgia that companies the smell of fresh pine.  I long to create a magical home, just as my parents did for me and I love the hunt for the ‘perfect’ tree.  But, I cringe knowing that in a few short weeks, we will take down our decorations, box up the ornaments and lights and throw our tree to the curb.

One year, in an attempt to be more ‘green’ for the holiday, we bought a potted indoor tree from Whole Foods.  We felt so good about it.  It was even really cute – kind of a Charlie Brown tree – but cute.  But at the end of the season, we weren’t able to replant the tree as we had thought.  Turns out the kind of tree that we bought doesn’t do well in cold weather, or extremely hot weather.  Needless to say, it wouldn’t survive a Kentucky summer or winter. We were so bummed.  I think that we ended up passing it on to a neighbor.

This year, knowing that we cannot replant our ‘potted’ tree from Whole Foods, and knowing that we cannot yet bury our dreams of a traditional Christmas without our live (now dying) tree, I am seeking other ways to make this holiday a bit less disposable.

For instance, I love wrapping gifts.  I simply cannot give a gift without beautiful wrapping paper and bows.  This can get expensive and extremely wasteful – unless you are resourceful.  This year, I have decided to have ‘brown paper packages tied up with string’ from leftover paper sacks from the grocery.  I also collect strings, ribbons, and decorations throughout the year from other packages, store products, groceries, scraps etc. so that I can save on this expense during the Holidays.

What are some things that you do to save and make your holidays less ‘disposable’?

Brown paper packages tied up with string.

I have often heard expectant mothers and fathers say that they like their heath care provider because she/he speaks “straight forward” and “gets right to the point.”

I also appreciate a health care provider that tells me the truth, whether or not it will sting.  I want to know what they believe is going on in my body and what they believe will help me to heal.  I want them to speak to me intelligently and with the expectation that I can understand basic medical information.  I appreciate when they take the time to explain what I don’t understand without patronizing me.

Expectant couples may confuse the tenderly presented truth as only half truth or rosy colored truth.  My midwife, Melissa, presented truth in a clear and caring manner without coddling me.  She was under control before during and after labor and spoke straight forward without fear tactics.  Her calm and loving voice was comforting.  I appreciate her honesty and her care for me as a strong yet fragile woman.

If there was ever a time in a woman’s life that she needs information about her body and her health it is during her pregnancy cycle.  If there was ever a time that a woman needs tenderness and a gentle yet  honest voice, it is during her pregnancy cycle.

I have come across many “straight” talking ob-gyn doctors and midwives that will talk right through an unnecessary cesarean section.  The patient is then under the impression that because some information is provided in a clear manner that they must move forward with a cesarean.  I would beg to differ.

I believe that information provided in the heat of the moment, when only one clear “safe” option is provided is misinformation.  The best education that an expectant couple can receive is before the hour of desperation.  Prenatal education can prepare the expectant couple for many safe options.

Education is knowing ways to prevent episiotomy by healthy lifestyle and movement during labor.

Education is knowing that only 9-11% of births necessitate a cesarean section. Not 33%. Not 48%.

Education is knowing that water and food during labor give mother strength to birth safely and comfortably.

Education is knowing how to turn a breech baby.

Education is understanding the risk involved with induction.

Education is knowing that epidurals make it difficult to feel the baby and difficult to push.

Education is knowing that birth can be fun, exciting, painful and pleasant.

Education can be presented honestly, yet gently with regard to an expectant mother’s emotional state as well as the physical happenings within her body.  A caring and gentle voice can also present “straight forward” information.

To register for a prenatal class that will present information honestly and gently go to baby-moon.org and check out the class calendar.

From the perspective of a doula, the perfect recipe for peaceful meditation is listed below.  Be careful when combining all the ingredients together, as you will be sure to create the ideal environment for peaceful and productive thought:

Beautiful birth + long ride home through horse country (KY) + big cup of coffee + Over the Rhine music = peaceful thought.

I’m sure that all KY doulas can agree with me on this one!

I went on a vacation last week… without the kids.  In the past  when my oldest, E, has stayed with Grandmommy and Grandad overnight I seem to work overtime preparing – missing her while she’s gone and anticipating her return.  Most of my ‘free’ time is spent consumed with my children.  This is, of course, completely natural as I am equipped to consider my child from the moment that she is conceived.  I am instantly a mother, whether or not I am prepared for the task.

But sometimes, if I try really hard, I can separate a part of myself from my ‘mom’ role and focus on being just me.  This takes concentration and great effort and is certainly not without a small amount of regret.  This ‘me’ time can be something very small.  Most often, it is a small break in the day, when children are resting and I can blog, shop online, talk with a friend or even work.  Sometimes it is something greater, such as planning a fundraiser, a date, a party or going on vacation.

While preparing for this most recent trip to Seattle with only my husband a good friend told me to not spend my time on regretting leaving my kids for a short time.  I needed to revel in the moments that he and I had alone and  be grateful for the help that we get from family and friends.  So, as I dropped off my kids and my cooler of frozen breastmilk at Grandmommy,’  I forced myself to focus on me.  I focused on the ‘me’ that must exist in order for me to be a mom, a friend, a wife, a lover, a teacher and a doula.

Truth is – it was hard to drive away after dropping the kids off, especially since my youngest is only 8 months old.    That first night I had regrets  and second thoughts about my vacation.  But I got over it and by Friday morning’s flight at 6.30 a.m., I was enjoying my time as a woman in love, alone with her husband.

I spent about 15 minutes every few hours hidden in our rental car, bathroom stall or under my scarf pumping and doing my motherly duties.  But the rest of the time, I reveled in life, soaked up one on one time with my husband and dwelled in the moment.  It was the greatest reminder of why I decided to become a mother and why I picked my husband for the role of ‘papa’.  I am so grateful for the community and family that fills in the gaps when I get tired or need time to focus on me.  I now understand, even more the proverb that says, ‘It takes a village to raise a child.’  Sometimes mommies need a break and the village must step in to help mommy rest so she can return fully charged and full of life.    Sometimes being a good mommy means taking time away from your babies, even for just a couple of hours, to reconnect with your spouse, partner, or friend.

If you want some tips on planning your ‘me’ time and pumping while away from your baby, email me and I’d love to share my insight!